The Ghosts of Christmas Past flew Business Class

(with Qatar Airways for £200)

Okay, that was somewhat of a clickbaity subtitle, I’ll admit it. But like all good clickbait, it is not strictly untrue.

In reality, I booked a flight from Sofia to Bangkok a couple of months before my trip. The entire journey cost somewhere around £800, with a short layover in Doha on the way there and a return from Denpasar via the same destination. 

But before I give it all away and tell you who the ghosts onboard my flight were and why it actually cost just £200 …

Let’s set the scene 

It was my first solo long-haul flight, and I could barely rest the night before. I got up early to finish some final bits of packing, exchange local currency, triple check I had everything I needed and head towards the airport. 

The first leg of the trip went pretty smoothly. I was chatting with the person sitting next to me, solving a crossword puzzle and watching Netflix. We got to Doha and took the airport bus and headed towards the connecting flight.

That’s when I saw my name. 

A bored-looking member of staff was sitting at the top of the staircase I was climbing, holding a sign with my name on it. No other information available, I had the urge to walk past and pretend I hadn’t seen it. But I didn’t. I stopped to ask. 

My flight had been overbooked, and Qatar Airways had sorted out two alternative options for me and two other passengers who had found themselves in the same predicament.

Option number one included 7 hours at Doha airport, a flight to Bangkok and a potential undisclosed monetary compensation from the carrier. Option two included boarding a Business Class flight to Singapore immediately, a three-hour wait at the world’s best airport and an AirAsia flight to Bangkok. Both options would arrive at approximately the same time to our final destination. 

I chose option two and handed in my passport to the airport attendant. Now I don’t want to brag but I’m pretty sure I was the trendsetter for our little group of three because the other two passengers took notice and chose the same option. 

Singapore Airport

Who was I flying with

When you travel alone you expect to encounter a plethora of unusual characters but this was too Dickens even for my expectations. My flight companions were a 40-year-old marketing executive travelling to Bangkok to essentially boost his own ego and a 60+ year-old retiree travelling to Thailand for the cheap prostitutes. 

Together, we were like a Bulgarian reiteration of the Ghosts of Christmas Past.

There I was, new to the concept of paid sex and dead dreams. Wide-eyed and hopeful for the future, travelling to experience new things, meet new people and expand my horizons (or something to that effect). 

P. had only just turned 40. He told me he has a lot more luck with the ladies when he’s swiping right on Asian territory. It often turns out they were using Google Translate when they meet in person but that doesn’t bother him too much. He was eager to light his next cigarette and share stories from the ayahuasca hallucinations he’d recently had. 

N. was somewhere in his 60s or 70s, spoke virtually no English and was a stark example of a very specific part of Bulgarian culture. His itinerary mostly consisted of paid sex with some excursions and local attractions in between because “how much sex could you possibly have”. Unlike P. he didn’t seem sad or disappointed with life. If I have to be completely honest, I’m not sure he had the emotional capacity for such complex emotions but still… for a person who doesn’t know how to navigate an airport, he was determined, self-assured and brain-meltingly relaxed.

The Qatar Business Class experience

A few years ago “Happy” received the award for best restaurant in London. Many were shocked to hear that the franchise with the annoying waiters and overly done politeness had received such recognition, myself included. 

What I didn’t know was that flying business class is a lot like eating at Happy.

Every two minutes a well-intended stewardess will swing by to ask if you need anything, bring food, offer to make your bed or suggest you put your seatbelt on. 

My working theory is that rich people enjoy being treated like little children. 

Jokes aside, it was kinda motivating. I’m not a very financially oriented person but I wouldn’t mind working harder if it meant I could easily afford to fly business class forever.

Was the food nice?

You certainly have more options than coach and it’s nice that you can choose them when you board. I had three dips with pitta bread for the starter. If you know me well enough, you also know you can find hummus in my fridge at literally any point in time. Naturally, I gave the starter a 10/10.

The main dish was a veggie pasta that reminded me of the frozen Tesco pasta I used to make in my first year of university. I shouldn’t be harsh though, they are making it all 12,500 m above land.

There was breakfast just before we landed. Again, I had three options to choose from plus hot and soft drinks. I chose a yoghurt and granola bowl, orange juice and a black coffee. I received a croissant, a yoghurt bowl and a plate of fruits plus the black coffee 🤷‍♀️ 

What else was there?

The seats are nicer and convert into an uncomfortable bed that you can barely sleep on (but at least it allows you to lay horizontally) - that’s pretty much the main advantage. You get more privacy and something that you can actually call a blanket. There’s also a pyjama set from The White Company that you can wear to sleep and a complimentary bag of cosmetics-inside it the soap smells like flowers and everything else smells like soap.

Overall, I could have done without most of the added bonuses. It is the space and maybe the food that you actually pay for. Or receive as a “sorry for the fuck up” in my case.

Why did it only cost £200?

I paid around £700-800 in total for the return ticket. Because the one flight was overbooked and I had originally departed from Europe, I could file for Regulation 261/2004. Based on the duration and length of the flight I missed the airline had to compensate me with 600 EUR. The prices are all set by the EU legislation and determined by the circumstances you find yourself in.

I also had travel insurance. My insurance paid out 100 EUR for the interruption. If I factor in things like the estimated amount of food and drinks I consumed, the cosmetics and the socks I accidentally stole (🤫) I may have come away on top.

Do I regret it?

Absolutely not. One, it is a fun anecdote. Two, travelling is meant to put you in unexpected situations and teach you how to deal with them.

Three, the airport in Singapore was a great stop along the way. If you ever find yourself there, be sure to check out the cactus garden (but not the butterfly one - it’s creepy), the rooftop swimming pool and the 24/7 cinema. Other notable attractions like the famous waterfall aren’t available unless you exit through immigration but you can check it out if you take the connecting train from Terminal 1 to Terminal 2.

Please forgive the typos.

Yours & delightfully dyslexic,

Dimana ✌️